Not going to lie… a blog is something very out of my comfort zone. As I mention on the About page, I am more of a numbers person having spent about 10 years in accounting so far. I think this page can be a good outlet for me though to address the complete and utter takeover of my life that was my PMBCL cancer diagnosis on June 1 of this year. It would have been great to start this at the beginning of this whole thing to capture it all, but there was too much going on and I had no idea how to set a site up from scratch. Since this is the first post I’ll give some more background on why I’m doing this and what I hope to get out of it. Already it is interesting to observe how I write and how I edit this voice of mine.
Being more analytical, I come from the end of the spectrum where additional information is typically useful. I am the type that loves to go through all of the review sites and social media out there before trying a new restaurant. If I’m going to a new city you’d better believe I have a few attractions and restaurants I already know I’d like to see. Sure there are times where there’s information overload and I’m just being excessive, but most of the time, information helps me get somewhere or do something – and I’ll probably do whatever that is a lot more efficiently or more successfully than if I were to have gone at it alone.
Just in case my personal lymphoma experience, googling, and and inquiries can be useful to someone down the line, I figure it’s worth the time to get things down on “paper” here. In meeting other patients throughout the past month and a half, I’m still trying to comprehend and be able to communicate the level of comfort and connection that comes with the shared experience of going through this. Everyone is different but we are all staring down this obstacle and it feels like we’re doing it together. I’ve NEVER seen such an outpouring of support for strangers at all times of the day and in all forms. If I can do any part to help further that along then I’m happy to ramble on here to let someone know that it is totally ok to feel shitty and curse your diagnosis (things do get better!).
I also want to write to continue sharing this experience with my friends and family. Everyone is curious on so many levels – whether it’s emotional, logistical, medical, or about the latest Bachelorette episode. I only have so much energy though and so by putting things in one place, we can all stay on the same page and I can stay sane.
Some things I’ll disclaim now:
- Curse words – This is a shitty situation so there will likely be profanity
- Body/Potty talk – There is a lot going on that is weird and I’m down to share it if you’re down to read
- Typos – Like I’ve said, I’m no writer. As much as poor grammar and spelling irk me, I’m not so hot myself
- Chemo brain – Thoughts and words sit on the tip of my tongue and out of reach and it’s just an unfortunate but common side effect for some people going through chemotherapy. I may not be as clear as I like to think I am. Let me know if I should clarify anything
- Frequency – I’m not sure how frequently I’ll get posts up, but email me if there’s something you’d like to know
- Personal – This is all just coming from my own thoughts and experiences so trust but verify if you’re going through something like this. Always check things over with a doctor even if our stories sound very similar
For another taste of what may be the tone for all of this, here is a funny and pretty spot on explanation of cancer treatment: The Mountain Lion in Your Fridge
Overall, I think this site will be a pretty flexible sounding board and I’m looking forward to reading these once I’m months or years removed from this and somewhere traveling and in full remission!
-Der