As some of you know, I’ve been working on something and brainstorming a lot – it’s been simmering in the background for quite a while. More recently, given my exit from the auditing world, I’ve gotten to really dive into it. I don’t want to go into the details of what I’m working on, but there’s been stuff that is challenging for me. Maybe my process and the quotes I found can help us out of any rut we might find (or put) ourselves in.
My best ideas happen to come when I lay down to go to bed. The tasks for the day are cleared and reset by that time, and so I believe that makes space for my mind to think outside of the box. I’ve sat up and taken notes; I have a designated brainstorming notebook, and if that’s not available, I email myself. I used to trust myself and think that if an idea was so brilliant I’d definitely remember it in the morning, but I’ll let you guess how well that worked out and why I now take notes…
The day or so after I have an idea, and when I remember it, I sit down to think through next steps on those ideas and everything comes to a halt.
I dream up details, google things, and research my idea. Even though there isn’t anything that signals for me to turn around or ditch the idea, doubt still creeps in. Thoughts like “that’s similar enough”, “they could do it better”, “this is too far out of my wheelhouse”, “they can do this too in the drop of a hat”, and others come to mind. I get in my own way and talk myself into taking step after step backwards.
Why was I doubting my experience and my potential? I’m very qualified in many aspects of business, and if I have a gap in knowledge or experience, then I’m well practiced in training myself up or getting the appropriate help. But often I still don’t think my ideas or that I am good enough. I have degrees and have dug into start-ups and the inner workings of a company for over a decade at work, but I still doubt myself. Part of it is my cautious, accounting personality, but I that is very different from doubt.
Recently I called myself out on this lack of traction and my tendencies to let myself get distracted (one upside to this is my closet is more organized and lean than it has ever been and the apartment is ready for Christmas!). I’ve identified repeated habits and started to pick out what the bad ones that I’ve accidentally made a part of my everyday.
Now it’s time for me to work on counteracting those. I overall need to be better at going after what I want, thinking bigger, and need to build my life around what I love. That’s a big part of why I left my big-firm job – to make a day to day that is enriching and more in line with my current priorities.
Lucky for you and me, a couple quotes came across my instagram to provide some motivation down this path, and the writer summarized what I’m trying to implement with a bit more style and clarity 🙂
***
next time you feel agitated because you are falling back into past patterns, remember that simply being aware that you have fallen back into repeating the past is a sign of progress. self-awareness comes before the great leap forward in your personal transformation.
yung pueblo
***
do not judge yourself by the first impulse that pops up in your mind, that is just a copy of who you were in the past. what you actually decide to do is who you are now and influences who you will become in the future. remember: pause, think, act.
yung pueblo
***
Here I am committing to “paper” that I will talk and prop myself up. I am resourceful and clever, and I CAN DO THIS. I’m not reaching out for pity or to ask for encouragement (we should do that for each other regardless), but to share that it’s normal to doubt and question yourself and get off track. Just as much as you can talk yourself out of something though, I think we can talk ourselves up, and hopefully this is one example of a way to reset and find a mentality to get away from that.