It has been a while! I’ve built up all of this pressure around the right topic or the right timing around a blog post after a long intermission… And for what? Upon some personal reflection it is all in my head – story of my life. So I’m just going to jump back in and make some space up in the ol’ noggin. I’m working on doing more of what I WANT versus what is OK or FINE.
Something that this blog has maybe alluded to more than it has addressed head on is the website and itty bitty business that I started: Hope Hard Co. I did what I considered a soft opening announcement to certain circles around me, and did a little bit of a push through a social media account. I loved the idea of the business as I brainstormed it and dreamt up product ideas during treatment, but a couple days ago I closed it down. It was a tiny bit sad, but it has also served me well in just a couple days to not have it hanging around out there.
After launching the website, I almost immediately lost steam. As I discussed HHC with people I was just not feeling the excitement. I fully believed in the purpose and potential, but over time I learned that talking about cancer as a part of what I do every day was just not for me. It’s already there enough as is and with other fundraising efforts I’m a part of. And so the site sat there and marinated in the original combo of products I’d created. I added a couple new ones at one point, but it was all just meh to me. There wasn’t the spark. There wasn’t the confidence. And so now I have cut it off to make room for new.
You (and I to be honest…) might think that a site sitting there and not getting updated isn’t taking up much space in my day, but looking back at the almost 2 years since the launch, it was always there using up time. Emails from coders, servers, suppliers, related advertisements, etc. don’t ever stop. I’d always have to refresh on what company provided what for me and relearn coding/website jargon. What took up the most brainpower was the me in my head asking if I’m ever going to do more. They were quick questions of myself about what is next that were weightier than I gave them credit for, but that is TIME and time is the most valuable resource to each of us.
If I’d sat down and really thought about the business I’d probably have come to this conclusion much sooner. I always had reasons to fall back on to just let it ride: The dollar cost was not significant… It felt a little fun to say I had this running… If just one person liked the products I’d have been thrilled… But I wasn’t engaging with any sort of medium though to generate interest, and so after zero action for the past few months, the end is officially here.
I don’t think it’s a failure though. I learned a lot (including what I don’t want) and thanks to my wonderful Hope Hard customers, we helped to raise money for Leukemia Lymphoma Society and the Cancer Research Institute. The ideas and name aren’t going away forever, they’ll always be inspiring my next creations or make a revamped appearance 🙂 Plus, fundraising is still in full swing for LLS via my Light The Night campaign. I just love creating – biggest lesson in all of this, and it’s time to make some more room to do that. On to the next move!
